Not Easy to Admit

Happy Hump Day!!  I'm so thankful for a new day!

Today's randomness is about fears.  Everyone has fears, but coming to grips with your fears and sharing them with others is something that not many people do.  I know some of ya'll are probably thinking, why in the world is Nicole writing about this kind of stuff, but there may be somebody out there that this reaches and helps.  You never know.  :)

Describe 3 legitimate fears and explain how they became fears. (This is going to be a tough one)

1. I think my first fear was developed as a child and became a fear because I didn't want to let my family down.    This is the fear of failure.  I have grown to realize that when things fail they are lessons and life experiences.  I was driving in Newnan the other day and read a sign that said, "most profitable lessons are learned from failure, not success."  This is so true in so many aspects of life.  How many times have you learned anything from being successful at something?  When you fail and are able to see the reasons why you failed, and are able to recognize it as failure, you can learn from that and move on a stronger individual.

2. I fear for the future of our country.  Gosh, this could be one that makes people a little angry, but this is a legitimate concern and fear of mine.  There is nothing more that I want than to have a family, but I just don't know how I feel about raising kids this time and day.  There are so many crazy things going on and I honestly feel that human character has changed so much.  I was talking to someone the other day about trying to get a teaching job and it hit me how our economy, education, and so many other issues in this country are at an all time low.  This is the teacher coming out in me, but if we don't have high standards for our children and educate them than think about how our future will be.  This terrifies me, but what can you do?  I don't know what the answer is to fixing the problems, but I think one issue that can be worked on is greed and selfishness.  It seems like people are only out for "how can this better me" or "how much money can I make" or "what's in it for me".  I know that we can't control others and change people, but I think that people really need to reflect on how they are treating others and dealing with situations.

3.  My third fear is something that I'm going out on a limb and sharing...the fear of being alone.  Alright, let me explain what I mean by "alone"...  I have found out that over the last couple of years being single (yes, years!), I have grown and learned a lot about myself, and still do everyday. I also know that there is someone out there who is perfect for me, and I'm willing to wait however long it takes until that person comes into my life, but you can't help but want that person to share life's adventures with.  I think the lessons that I'm learning in life right now deal with happiness and how you can not allow happiness to depend on someone or something.  You make your own happiness.  (There will be a happiness post soon).  I don't want anyone to take away from this that I'm lonely or that I'm sad, because I am far from it.  I have such a wonderful family and amazing group of friends who help me get through EVERYTHING, but the relationship you build with a significant other is different than other relationships in your life.  I know God has someone planned and waiting out there for me, and it is exciting to know that that time in my life hasn't happened.  (I am probably confusing the heck out of you right now...)  :)

Whew!!  Glad that's over with...  ;)

I hope you have enjoyed reading about my 3 legitimate fears and please share anything you would like to with me.  I would love to hear about some other people's fears.

I hope everyone has a great day and I'm going to leave you with a quote...

"The minute someone decides to walk out of your life, that is the same moment in which the opportunity and space opens up for someone who actually deserves your love, to finally walk in..."

Makes me excited about what the future holds!!  Bye!!!

The Beginning of Nicole Randomness

WOW!!  Happy mid-March, April! (That's when I was going to post this...how time flies!!)  I have neglected my blog and writing, but I am back and so excited to have something to write about the next couple of weeks.  I found this great idea for blogging on Pinterest and thought..."You know it's time I blog again..."

Just a little update, things have been crazy busy with trying to get everything together job wise.  I am still searching for a teaching job, but I'm lucky to be subbing two days a week now and working in the office three days.  :)  It is working perfectly and it is so nice to be back in the classroom.  I've missed it so much over the last couple of months.

I turned 26 at the beginning of March and had a great time celebrating with friends and family.  We did go back to our college roots and saw one of my favorite bands back in Auburn, 17th Floor.  :)  It was a great time!!  Other than that, I am just trying to stay patient waiting to see what God has planned for the next step in my life!

Alright, now on to the good stuff.

On Pinterest, I found a great topic to write about.  It will consist of 30 days of getting to know myself and for others to kind of think about these things also.  My hopes are that people share things about themselves and also just take the time to reflect.  I think it is such a great thing when people open up and share things about themselves, positive or negative.  It really helps people grow and I strongly believe you can't be afraid of change and finding out about yourself, even if it shows you a few flaws.  If you never know yourself how can someone else get to know you?  Enough of that...

The first one is to list 20 random facts about yourself.  Here are mine.

1. I have four names: Margaret Elizabeth Nicole Stewart
2. I have my bachelors and masters in Early Childhood Education, but am working an office job.
3. I am currently working on my specialist degree in school library media...yeah, I'm a dork. ;)
4. I lived in Panama for 10 months as a live-in teacher/nanny for an American family.
5. I am my mom's only child, but have two wonderful step siblings. 
6. I can never hold a grudge against ANYONE...it is probably a good thing to be able to forgive, but sometimes I forget too, which is not always a good thing. 
7. I graduated from Auburn University!  (War Eagle!)
8. I am single. :)
9. I teach Sunday School to 4 year olds.  
10. I am a little obsessed with music, any kind, but those close to me know what my fav is.
11. I taught first grade for two years.
12. My family is auditioning for Family Feud.  HAHA! No lie!!
13. I continue to grow in my faith daily.  
14. I have a difficult time just letting things be.  I always need an answer. 
15. I was born on 3/4 at 4:03.  HAHA!
16. I love to cook, but definitely need to practice a bit. 
17. I could spend all day looking at or on the water.  I'm a Pisces!
18. I have found a new obsession: Crossfit (look it up if you don't know what it is) 
19. I am reading the first Hunger Games right now. 
20. I write everything down...I am calendar obsessed. 

Ok, well that was a little harder than I would have imagined.  I would love to hear random facts about anyone who wants to share!

I am leaving you with this inspirational verse that is on my wallpaper on my phone and I read it everyday to remind me that the plans I try to plan for my life are nothing compared to what God has planned.  Amen to that!

"The Lord will work out his plans for my life- for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.  Don't abandon me, for you made me. 

Psalm 138:8 NLT

I hope everyone has a great Tuesday and I will be back tomorrow with the second dose of Nicole randomness.  :)